April A-Z Challenge Day 3...C for Cyril the Crocodile ( With a difference}
Cyril is a pivotal character in my Comedy Romance novel "Dudes Down Under" I could say more, but why spoil a perfectly good interview with a crocodile? Um-- oh hell, just read it..you'll get the drift.
Interview with Mr. Cyril. C.Roc. Odile.
Please welcome my guest this week.
Cyril…may I call you Cyril?
Let me think on that …
Um … er ... Mr. C. C. Roc Odile; seems so, er-formal.
Yes it does…
Well then what?
May I call you, Cyril?
Let me think on that…
Very well then, may I ask where you were born?
I … Why not?
But … but this is an interview.
Well it’s supposed to be.
“Oh…that’s different. I thought you were just sticking your nose where it didn’t belong. Who did it by the way?
Er … did it?
Yes did it, your nose dear. Who did it?
“Oh well, um. The new guy in Hollywood.
Pity? Why..what? Is something wrong with it?
He should have stopped after he did Michaels .
He did Michaels?
Is there an echo in here? Still it could be worse I suppose, you could have had him do the boobs as well.
Oh…he heh. Big reduction hey?
No- no he … wait a minute, I’m supposed to be interviewing you.
Then go ahead.
Are you surprised to find yourself here in Hollywood?
No..that’s where I intended to get to when I boarded the plane for LA.
I mean, er hem are you surprised by the fame?
You should never wear pink with that hair dear.
Pink …are you deaf? You should never ever wear pink.
It’s so yesterday. It would work if you matched the hair color though.
Do you think so?
Oh absolutely you must visit my guy, he’s fabulous.
Oh-do you have his card?
Card?…Oh how quaint. I’ll have his guy call your guy.
The guy who sets things up with his guy.
He has a guy?
That’s the rumour.
Can we get back to the interview?
No! I mean can I ask you some more questions?
About air travel?
No. Please tell my readers how you came to be here.
They don’t know?
Wow..who’d have thought in this day and age…I’m shocked.
Do we have the echo back?
No. Why are you shocked?
Well dear I mean really…I would have thought that anyone who could be reading this would know how I came to be here.
Are you shittin’ me?
No…no really, I’m certain they’d love to know.
Well, okay then if you’re certain?
Oh yes…please go ahead.
You yanks are a strange lot. Well my mom was kinda shy..you know went a darker shade of green everytime my pa looked in her direction. They tell me it was a whirlwind courtship, which of course is not as powerful as a cyclone one. Anywho..they had the ceremony, and he dragged her over the nesthold and viola 48 hatchlings. Does that cover it?
Oh my what?
I … it’s just that it wasn’t…I didn’t…you shouldn’t…I really must go
But baby it’s cold outside …look out the window at that storm
I really can’t stay…
I’ll allow you to call me Cyril
Cyril … you may call me Cyril
Oh … gee okay…thanks.
Welcome. So where were we?
I have no idea.
You’re the one conducting the interview.
That’s the rumour.
Oh. yes…yes I am. Um…is your wife with you?
Are you vision impaired?
Are you quite certain?
Oh…perhaps you should get it checked.
Because you can’t see that Sadie isn’t here with me.
You asked if my wife was with me. Trust me you would know if you weren’t vision impaired. She’s wearing the Carmen Miranda outfit today.
Oh my what?
I feel quite faint.
You want I should give you mouth to snout?
Uh, no…but thanks.
Welcome. So, this fainting thing, how long has that been happening?
Oh around 15 minutes or so.
That recent. You could be pregnant you know.
Oh I hardly think so.
Oh. Why not?
Well, I don’t.. it isn’t as if...! That’s hardly your business.
I thought this was an interview.
So why can’t I ask questions?
I’m interviewing you!
You are making this difficult.
Well yes, yes you are.
Why am I making this difficult?
I don’t know.
Have you considered giving up your day job?
Please can I just get a straight answer?
Well, who is getting a little tetchy?
You appear in a book, yes?
What’s it called?
Noooooo…the name, I want the name of the book!
You really should have done your research.
Then why don’t you know the name of the book?
Then why did you ask me?
I need a drink.
A drink, hey now your talking. Make mine a JD straight up no ice.
Is the Pope Catholic?
My word you are in a bad way. Vision impaired, hearing impaired…and we won’t even go near the nose thing.
I think we need to bring this interview to a close.
Why, I’m just getting the hang of asking you questions?
I did bad?
Oops. Let me make it up to you.
Even I won’t go near that one!
How do you plan on making it up to ME?
Have I upset you?
Oh my, how unfortunate.
Perhaps I should go?
Would you like to come with me?
Would..you like ..to …come… read my lips dear…with me?
Where are you going?
I’m dining with Al.
Oh my God! There is only one.
You haven’t met, Al?
But…but, how could you not have met Al?
The interview was discontinued at this point. The interviewer is believed to be making a slow but steady recovery.
As for Mr. Cyril C. Roc. Odile, well he is dining with … not on … Al.
Don’t you dare ask Al who?
Read more about Cyril, Al, and the rest of the crazy folks on Slush pile reader
My book is currently ranked number #8... it would be nice to hit the top five....heheh..Cyril said that.
He even has his own blog site...http://dudesdownunder-soooz.blogspot.com/